Hey so I'ts almost the weekend and I am pumped. Not that I don't enjoy babysitting but I really enjoy the weekend. Me and Kelly are going to an auction in Blaine Lake so that should be fun. We will probably end up taking home a whole bunch of junk. Oh well. So lately I've been thinking how does a person lose their passion. Can you really lose it. Can it be changed or misinterpreted. Does anyone really know what their passion is. Or do we live on the spur of the moment and whatever comes our way we do? Also why is it when something hits us like a cannon ball do we just give up and except it? What if we stood up shook the dust off and carried on? Would our lives be the same or would they turn out the way they are now because eventually we would mess up?
Why is it that when we lose people in our lives that we fall and can't get up? Why do we get depressed? Why does it seem like life is not worth living? And on the other side of it all why when we know that they are in heaven we can rejoice and live our lives normally, but we must remember their death every year. Are we supposed to celebrate the dead? The reason I talk about this is because my good friend Jordan who I attended ywam with died a year ago on feb 27 along with his sister and his newly fiance. Did I struggle with it yes. But I was reassured becuase I knew he was in heaven so therefore i was able to rejoice. Now my friend Mel she struggled more than I did, I believe she still does. So why is it that I don't and she does? Didn't God grant her reassurance that she would see him again in heaven? Why do we have to lose loved ones without being able so say good-bye to them? If you do not understand my writings thats alright because the brain is a very complex thing. Mine more than others.
God Bless
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About Me
- Jen
- I have been happily married to the love of my life for 6 years and am the happy Mommy to my two litle monkeys.
Thomas Victor
Kassidy Joelle
13 comments:
Why do you say your brain is more complex than mine! Are you saying you're smarter than me!! How dare you!!!*spoken very indignantly*
Cindi
You think you're brain's messed up?? You read my blog... and that was nothing...
Passion?? Crap, I don't know if I really have a passion... I wonder what it's like to be one of those people who's always known what they want to do with their lives, and work hard to do it... I like to do so many things, I don't think I could say that ONE CERTAIN THING is my passion... I'm interested in EVERYTING, it seems, and it's kind of frustrating... Sometimes I wish I could have that one thing that I really loved to do and was soo passionate about, and I was really good at it, and did it for the rest of my life... I always just feel kind of mediocre at everything, and there isn't one thing that I can say, "That's my thing." or that people look at me and say, "That's what she does." I like everything... I like to draw, write, play music, sing, do things on the computer, I love animals, science, everything... And I'm never satisfied, I always want to learn and do soemthing new...
Really, I think that when we celebrate the anniversary of a person's death, it should be just that... a celebration... We should celebrate their life, and remember the good times, and although you may grieve, it shouldn't be all about that... If you all you do is mourn the people who are dead, you may as well be dead yourself... Because you aren't living... You're dead inside because all you know is grief... Some people deal better with grief than other people, and some people need more time to grieve... I think there's a time to grieve, and everyone needs to... Sometimes it takes people longer to realize that fact, and be reassured that the person is in a better place, because they're not here... Death is a special thing, as is life, and if we knew why and where and when, it wouldn't be the same... Death is one of those things that we aren't meant to completely understand, but just have faith and believe there's a reason behind it and there's something after...
Whoa, that wasn't supposed to be that long... I hope that my freakin' long comment even made any sense... Maybe we're just messed up, Jen... I think that everyone thinks they're brain is more complex than everyone else's, because they don't know what it's really like in someone else's head, just in the same way no person really knows what it's like in yours...
That should have almost been a blog post on it's own.. crap... I don't realize what I'm doing when I type sometimes...
I think sometimes people struggle with death more than others b/c sometimes peopel dont HAVE any idea what happens after. Yes HEaven's a nice idea and God is too but for real...I don't know. I used to deny jordan dying and knowing I coudlnt' see him everday anymore, or hang out with my boys the same anymore, and then I got angry and tried to forget life. And then when I learned to accept it (only a couple months ago), I also learned to accept that maybe I will never hang out with him again. It still makes me sad and the past month has sucked to get through, but my obsession with freakin out b/c everyone I know will die eventually is getting better and understanding it's just a part of life. It shouldn't be so damn young but I also dont' want to live in fear of my family dying etc. I also think whatever you're passionate about should outline your life, whether it be God or music or art or literature. Whatever you love is what you're passionate about and want to DO and there wont' be any question as to why you follow the paths you do. For me I think I just want to get through the days with contentment. I don't really believe in happiness anymore, but just making myself content in every situation is my new goal. I miss you too...and maybe I"ll see you again one day...I'm still at school and my friend Nat really wants a cat ;) preferably a boy...
cindi... i think jen's brain is more complex than yours too... you're a lot easier to read.... jen... she's just kinda weird like that... no offence fred...
jen... i'm absolutely amazed with this post... i never really knew that you had a deep side like this... i'm really impressed...
death is a weird thing... it really plays with people, christian or not, faithful to any religion or not... i say the latter half because it's not fair to say that christians are the only people promised "heaven" or the "kingdom of God" or the likes thereof by their faith. i know that when uncle russ passed away, it really bothered me... i don't know why, i didn't really know the guy, most of what i knew about him was hearsay from other people... and i'd like to believe that one day i will see him again in heaven, but who knows.... it's funny... i still like driving thru the cemetary... i can find his grave in no time flat, probably only me and dad can do that... but even as comforting as i find it in the graveyard... i don't sit and mourn, or pray for his soul to make passage into heaven or anything... i just use it as a time to remember, a time to think, and to contemplate what's going on in my own life... i really like driving thru the old vetran's section.... right in the middle there... it's beautiful... especially in the spring... kind of the whole all of it was worth fighting for... but i'm like that... i think i'm even more complex than you.... but yeah... death is a crazy thing.... why does it effect people differently... probably the same reason some people like chocolate ice cream, and i can't stand it... people are different... things effect everyone differently... a good example of this was last summer up at the lake... no matter what after that first day when that kid drowned... i could not have a good time... i honestly have no good memories of morin lake... i hated it... it was by far in my opinion my worst vacation ever... was there anything i could have done to change it... maybe... who knows... shoot... you weren't even there... were you... i don't think so... but yeah... i know that once we got down to the lake there was nothing more i could have done that directing people about... for those of you not aware of what happened... read my blog... cut and paste this entry
http://the-real-deal.blogspot.com/2005/07/so.html#comments
that's a summary of my worst vacation ever.... death affects us all differently, but ultimately leaves with the same outcome...
i think the trick is to find something that you are passionate about, wether it be something, someone, or anything like that... live with a purpose derived from your passion... and pursue your passion with all your purpose and drive... i think if you do that you will have a life worth celebrating even long after you're dead
ha... mine was longer than carrie's... oh yeah fred... good post... i think i said that... but i wanted to say it again
Yep, quite the blog, and comments.
Death in my opinion is a part of life. The closest person in my life passed away when I was 11 yrs old.....my Dad. Now, because I really was only a child at the time, I did feel sorry for myself, and also blamed him, but I have come to realize that is the grieving process, and we all have to go through it. It all depends on what attitude you take while trying to deal with it. Death is final, and maybe as humans that is why we have such an issue with it. When someone who is young passes away ( we lost a good friend of ours when he was very young), and that just seems senseless. In my opinion, we all make a choice in our life, and how we deal with situations.
Now, later in my life, my Mother passed away from Alzheimers. Now, in this situation I knew that her death would be coming ( unlike my Dad, who's death was sudden), it was still hard to take. But as I watcher her slowly wither away, in the end, she was not really my Mother, as she lost her ability so speak, so really was just a shell of the woman I had known. The phone call that she had passed was a hard one to take, but it did not take me long to realize that she finally got her wish. She had missed my Dad terribly, and I knew she would be with him again. This is the outlook I took with her death. Maybe it was easier to deal with because I was older, but I am not so sure that is the case. I do remember thinking to myself "Holy cow, you no longer have parents, you are on your own."
Losing people in our lives is going to happen. There is not just a SLIGHT chance it will happen, it will happen. And maybe we need to take that opportunity to enjoy our time with the ones that are still around, because they will not be here forever!!!
Holy cow I amazed myself, this is likely one of the longest posts I have made. I may have to post it on my blog, so people will see I CAN blog!! :)
If there are any typo's, it's Mitz's fault....honest, there is just too much pressure to type without typo's. J/K Mitz.
Hi Jen!
We have been waiting for you to start blogging. Then, when I finally find out you are blogging I realize you have been doing so fo a while already. That's OK, though. I'm just excited to hear from more family out there.
ok yes death is a part of life, and obviously so is accepting it, but it still sucks ass and there's nobody in the world who can come close to understanding it, and what happens after, I dont' care what they "claim" to say or promise. Humans come up with their own ideas and their own ways of coping b/c yeah everyone's different, and whatever's best for them is obviously best. (and I don't like chocolate ice cream either!)
Yeah, I can definitely understand how people deal with death differently...
But I can't understand how a person could NOT like chocolate ice cream!! Seriously... it's about the best thing... ever!
Hi jen...profound hey!?!
:o)
Yeah, man... That's deep, Jen, deep...
And I don't care if your comment was longer than mine, Trav... it's not a "let's see who can post the longest comment" contest... Goodness... grow up, you hoser!! Hee hee... *grin*
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